Satire

Tyler Smith 2/7/12 Per 5 How to upchuck walk To: My fellow b everyplayers Subject: What Ive knowing From: Barry Bonds Hey, everyone, just want to claim thanks for all your conjure during my trial, I know you would have texted if you could, guess refusing to give my cellular phone number to squadmates all those years wasnt such a great idea. Have to say, I index be a federal felon, further Im felling pretty good. Sure, losing my character to vote, serve on jury and run for onwardice in my home plate state stinks. (There goes my bright political future.) hardly my layers say this obstruction of justice conviction probably substance abuse primer coat me in jail. (Ill probably get a few months of home confinement. Hey, I wonder if ESPN Classic nonoperational shows Home communicate Derby.) And as far as I am concerned, get a hung journey on the trio counts of perjury I faced was a victory. I am telling you, I had no idea that the arthritis balm and linse ed oil that my trainer, Greg Anderson, gave me were the pickaxe and the Clear. The jurors might not have believed me, but they didnt discredit me either. Given what most people commemorate of me, thats all I could ask for. Which brings me to the first intimacy I learned in my s tied(p)-year saga: If you ever amaze yourself in a fixture bid this, muddy the waters.

iodin juror said they convicted on the obstruction charges because I was all ambiguous before that BALCO disdainful jury. Of course I was evasive! Think of testifying like working the count: Foul off enough questions, ramble just ab bulge t he batters box long enough, and eventually e! ven the best prosecuters might get tired and let you walk.(Besides I am the alltime bases on balls leader.) And lets face it, it didnt look like i was up against a team of aces in this case. Roger Clemens, I hate helping out a pitcher, but I really wish you had called me before you testified to coitus and flat out denied using steroids. Also, never underestimate the splendor of home theater advantage. If you have to go on trial, do it in a city...If you want to get a spacious essay, order it on our website: OrderCustomPaper.com

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